The Water Mirror
by ShadowofUndine
Summary: Post ENDGAME. Mithos's death hurt Genis more than he could imagine. The only thing left to do is follow him. GenisMithos. Suicide. OneShot.


Water Mirror

"Mithos," Genis whispered to the air. He felt another tear slide down his cheek. He had long given up trying to stop the falling tears; they didn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered anymore. Mithos was gone. Forever.

His head told him this was what had to happen to save the two worlds. To save everyone.

Except Mithos, his heart replied. No one had saved him.

He felt alone. His sister slept on oblivious to his pain in Altessa's guest room. Stretching out, he laid back to stare at the stars above him, uncaring of the sharp pebbles digging into his back. _Did it hurt, Mithos?_ His heart spoke out to his lost friend, although Genis's mind knew he would not receive an answer.

He felt lost. His sister chattered on oblivious to his pain whenever she was awake. They would travel the world making things easier for half-elves, or so Raine had told him. Watching the stars count away all their lives, indifferent to how each of those people lived those lives, he knew the world would never change. Humans had seen to that. _Did you cry?_ Genis reminded himself that angels could not cry.

He felt broken. His sister smiled on oblivious to his pain, believing that things would get better for half-elves. Genis wanted to believe it, he really did, but he couldn't believe it when Mithos, one of the half-elves he had been trying to save, was forced to die at the hand of those who were different. _What was it like?_ His mind reprimanded him for such a thought. He should know; he was there.

Genis closed his eyes, and brought up the image of his friend. His blonde hair lifted softly and waved in the gentle breeze. That sad smile he always wore when he spoke was directed at him now, giving rise to a feeling that Genis could not give a name to. His white clothes were wrapped around him like a drifting cloud, and the teal lines followed the cloud like a small bird would follow a twisting leaf. The purple bracelets Mithos had always worn encircled the boy's wrists, and Genis heard them tinkling lightly in the mild breeze. His teal pants hugged his legs as the ocean's waves caressed the beach.

Genis stopped his mind from going any further; there was no need. _The Ocean_, he thought. He would see Mithos again soon. He knew what he had to do to stop the pain.

Sitting up, Genis checked his pockets for the Wing Pack that held his Rheiard. Finding what he was looking for, he stood up intending to open the Wing Pack and leave immediately, but something held him back. Although the pain hurt more than anything he'd ever felt before, Genis knew he must say good-bye to his sister. For all that she had done, her owed her that much.

Entering Altessa's house, he stopped inside the door to consider his options. He could go to her and tell her what he needed to say, but that might wake her, which was not a risk he wanted to take. Not only would he incur her abuse from waking her during sleep, but she would also realize what he was planning to do, and he couldn't have that. He could no longer bare the pain of his loss. _No_, he told himself, _that way won't work. What's something else I could do?_

He walked further in, looking for inspiration. Placing his hand on the dining table as he walked around it, he vaguely felt the wood grain run under it. The bumps Genis felt roll across his skin as he walked reminded him of his life, what it had been like for him as a half-elf, living in a world where he wasn't welcome. His life had been filled with flaws, just as this table was. From far away, the table looked well cared for, but as close as Genis was to it, he knew things were different. Yes, he decided. His life had been a lot like this table.

Shaking his head to stave off the coming memories, he moved on to the tapestry on the back wall. The table had not only pulled up some unwanted memories, but it had also managed to avoid telling him what he needed to do.

In the darkness, the tapestry lacked the brilliance it possessed during the day, and Genis couldn't make out the pattern emblazoned on its red surface. Climbing atop the counter and sitting cross-legged, he took the thick fabric into his hands. The broad threads that ribbed its face felt warm and comfortable, like a cozy blanket. It reminded him of the time when his sister became sick, and he and Mithos had rushed to the Fooji Mountains to retrieve an herb to save her. The trip had taken longer than both of them expected, even on Rheiards, and they had been forced to stay the night there.

"_Genis?" Mithos's soft voice drifted to his ears._

"_Yeah?" he answered tiredly._

"_Are you awake?"_

_Genis laughed. "Would I be talking to you if I weren't?"_

_Although Genis couldn't see it, he knew Mithos smiled. "Maybe. You _do_ talk in your sleep."_

"_I do not!" he retorted before he could stop it. They both turned to each other, and laughed._

_After the giggles subsided, the silence stretched. The only sound Genis could hear was the crackling of the small fire they shared between them, giving them warmth and a safe haven from monsters. It was a small fire both of them had made, both using a small amount of fire mana to start the fire and keep it going. That way, neither one had to exhaust himself; they would share the burden. That thought made him smile widely. It was something they shared._

"_Could I," Mithos hesitated, as if nervous. Genis decided it would be best to stay silent and give Mithos as much time as he needed to speak. Only a moment passed before he spoke again. "Could I... come closer? It's cold."_

_Blood rushed to his cheeks unbidden. He thought Mithos's request was strange, seeing as it was quite warm, but he didn't want him to freeze, either. He nodded, and then realized Mithos couldn't see that. "O- Of course." He cursed his own voice for stuttering._

"_Thank you, Genis." He heard the rustling of blankets and the stirring up of the dirt added to the sound of the fire as Mithos picked up his bedroll to bring it closer._

"_I- It's no- nothing." The blush hadn't abated yet, for which Genis was even more embarrassed._

_A little walking around the firelight and more rustling later, Mithos laid down in his blankets once again, except this time closer to Genis. A _lot_ closer. He could feel Mithos's breath tickle his ear. Genis's blush deepened. He'd never been alone with Mithos before and never this close; it was a nice feeling. It was at a time like this that he was glad Lloyd had decided to let them go alone. He shifted in his blankets so he was facing Mithos._

"_Ar- Are you fee- feeling bett- better?"_

_Mithos stared into his eyes, searching. Genis tried both to keep his blush under control and to stomp the urge to look away from embarrassment. He wanted Mithos to find what he was looking for, though he couldn't put a logical reason to why he'd want that. His heart told him it was because he wanted Mithos to be happy. Having those lonely eyes search him, he decided he did want him to be happy. Everyone deserves to be happy, especially someone as nice as his friend._

_Mithos nodded, confusing Genis; he wondered what sort of decision Mithos would have come to. "Yes, much better."_

_Genis wasn't convinced; he'd heard the slight waver to his friend's voice. He gathered his courage before speaking. "A- Are you sure? I mean," he paused a moment to breath, "Wou- Would you like to share the bedroll with me? You'll be warmer that way." He felt his face heat up even further, if that was possible. He hadn't slept with Raine since he was very young, and had awoken from a horrible nightmare. Scared, he had gone to her for comfort. Now, he was looking to give Mithos comfort._

_Mithos's eyes widened and Genis worried that he said too much. He closed his eyes in fear of the outburst that was sure to come soon. It never came. There was silence until he felt a cool hand caress his cheek. Genis involuntarily shivered at the touch. "I would like that."_

_Opening his eyes, he moved over to give his friend the space he needed. Mithos crawled out of his own blankets, taking a minute to fold them carefully, before lying down next to Genis. Genis moved further away to give him more room, but Mithos stayed his movement with a simple touch. Gently, he felt himself pulled closer to his friend and become enshrouded in a tight embrace._

_He sputtered in surprise, and his blush flared again. "Wh- What are you doing?"_

_His touch immediately loosened, as if burned. "I'm sorry, Genis."_

_As surprising as the gesture had been, Genis didn't want him to stop. He felt safe in that embrace. He didn't ever want Mithos to let him go. Somewhere his mind told him that he had wanted to comfort Mithos, not the other way around. He was like Lloyd sometimes. "No. I... I like it. I was just surprised." He tried to burrow himself in Mithos's shirt, and the arms around him tightened again._

_He let out a sigh of happiness, closing his eyes and Mithos laughed gently. A hand came up to lightly smooth his hair, and a whisper of "Good night, Genis" floated through the night._

_Perfectly content to fall asleep that second, Genis murmured, "Good night... Mithos." Then, he knew no more._

Unbidden, the tears fell once again. Genis did nothing to clear them away. He missed Mithos; he didn't want to be alone anymore. Climbing down from the countertop, he looked around the room for anything he could say good-bye with, the multitude of tears clouding his vision. He didn't care what it was now. Genis wanted something, anything, so he could do what he must and leave here. The pain that was unbearable to live with, and the pain Genis needed to be rid of now. He needed to leave here.

Looking around, he knew he couldn't go into the guest rooms, where his sister slept, and seeing the back rooms were closed off, Genis had little in the way of choice of where to go next. Slowly, he made his way over to Altessa's work area, grabbing hold of the railing to steady himself as he went. Since the memory had come to him, the pain in his heart grew gradually every moment, barely leaving him with the strength to finish this task. His final task. After this, everything would come to a blissful end.

Making it to the worktable with some difficulty, he searched around for anything he could use. His eyes immediately skipped over the hammers, chisels, and other Dwarven tools that were left out carelessly. Genis's eyes paused a moment to consider the various metal ores scattered about: Silver, Iron, and Mythril were the ones he was able to recognize. _Maybe I can make something with this as a present for Raine?_ He paused to consider it, and then realized what a stupid thought that was. Lloyd seemed to be rubbing off on him, and not in a good way.

Pressing on, he came to an array of blueprints drawn with strange weapon designs. Picking up the one on top, he wiped the wetness from his eyes and studied it, hoping it would give him the inspiration he needed to continue. The design was something he'd never seen before. The sword penciled on the blue paper was similar to something Zelos would have used, except only one side was sharp and near the hilt some sort of contraption was built-in, a circular piece of metal with holes in it was set into the giant, carved hole in the sword. The hilt itself was turned downward, and there was a pull lever molded into it. The intellectual curiosity that buzzed at the back of his mind at the sight of a new invention wondered what it did.

He set the print down, intending to move on, but inspiration hit and he stopped and turned back to it. Perhaps what he needed to look wasn't what was on the paper, but the paper itself. _That's it!_ His mind shouted at him. _I can write a letter to Raine!_ Despite his situation, he felt stupid for not coming to that conclusion sooner.

Grabbing an ink bottle and quill along with some paper he found stuffed in a nearby bookshelf, he rushed back over to the wooden table, the happiest he'd been since before Mithos left them from this very same house. Setting down the things he'd taken from the dwarf's worktable on the wooden table placed in the main room, he pulled up a chair and sat down, intent on writing the best letter ever. Once he'd done that, he'd able to see his friend again. He set to writing.

Some forty-five minutes later, Genis wiped his eyes of the tears that had inevitably fallen while he had written the letter. It held everything he'd always wanted to say to her, but had never had the courage to say. It held all his apologies; it held his very life, and he was giving it to her. Even if the one he missed was Mithos, he still owed her his life, so Genis decided she could have it. He read over the letter one last time to make sure it was perfect.

_Dear Raine,_

_I'm sure that by now you're frantically searching all over Tethe'alla for me. You don't need to look for me anymore. I've gone to see Mithos._

_I'm sorry that I've left you without a little brother, but you have Lloyd and everyone to keep you company now. I know they'll all help you free the half-elves, especially Lloyd; he's really a good person. And I know I haven't been the best brother to you because I'm always running my mouth at the worst times. I'm sorry for that, too. There was also the time when I stole your Ruby Wand. Yeah, that was me. I bet you're mad now. I just thought if you could use Healing Arts, I could, too. Mithos was hurt and I couldn't just leave him like that. And, well, you didn't get it back because I accidentally ended up burning it to a crisp. Sorry Raine._

_I know you know about how I feel about Mithos. I saw you trying to catch glimpses of us sitting together while you were studying your books or artifacts. It's not like it was a secret. I think Lloyd knew, too. As stupid as he is, there are a lot of things he notices that no one else does. Mithos was my first half-elf friend, but it wasn't just that. He was really the only person that understood me, and what both of us went through. He was so lonely, too; I couldn't let him stay lonely. It wasn't fair for him. So, I became his friend. As time went on, it became more than that. When I found out he was really Yggdrasil, the person we were trying to kill, I didn't know if I could do it. I haven't told anyone, but in the Tower of Salvation, I secretly hoped the trap would kill me, so I wouldn't have to face him._

_So, anyway, when you read this letter, I'll be gone. Too far away for you to come and save me. I'm a little sad that I'll never see you again, but I can't just leave Mithos all alone, and I feel alone without him. I have to do this. I'll miss you._

_Love,_

_Genis_

_P.S. My Rheiard is outside the Ymir Forest._

The tears kept flowing, and he held the letter tight to his chest, hugging it. Once he set down this letter, that was it, there was no going back. Still, he was a little sad that he was leaving his sister like this. He hoped she'd be okay, and not mourn for him too much. Nodding to himself, much like Mithos had done that night in the Fooji Mountains, he folded the letter and set it carefully down on the wooden table. Quickly scribbling his sister's name on it, he set the still dripping quill down, and turned away from the table, determined not to look back.

Shutting the door behind him, he felt the cool breeze ruffle his hair and saw the countless stars shining in the sky. Pulling out the Wing Pack, Genis pressed the button to open it, letting his mechanical bird of light blue free of its confinement.

Mounting the Rheiard, Genis ascended into the sky, and aimed it in the direction of the village of the elves. While he had written the letter earlier, he had decided he would end it all in the Ymir Forest, which bordered the elven village of Heimdall. Not only would he being ending his life in the place it had begun, but the Water Mirror was known for its population of large fish, so he wouldn't have to worry about being pulled away from his resting place after he dived in.

Urging the remnant of magitechnology to launch ahead at full speed, he raced toward the expansive channel of ocean spreading out before him. Air rushed at him with unearthly speed and Genis basked in the feeling of it caressing his skin and hair. The wind reminded him of when they'd met Mithos's adult form in Tethe'alla's Tower of Salvation and his friend had saved him from Pronyma's attack. He'd been so close; the gentle fanning of his wings had become a special memory to Genis. It gave him something to further remember his friend by.

Twenty minutes later, he crossed over onto land again and knew he was about to catch sight of the elven forest. Along with Lloyd, he had been this way on Rheiard many times. The events at Heimdall had only spurred Lloyd to go there more often instead of turning away from it, and he had often asked Genis along with him. Genis had gone most times Lloyd asked him, but for entirely different reasons than Lloyd had. He remembered when he'd been possessed by his friend at Origin's Seal, and had been given all of Mithos's memories. Going there rekindled the thoughts both of them shared during that time.

Lloyd had raced after him, fearing Mithos had something horrible planned for his long time best friend. On the contrary, being freed from Mithos's grasp had been the worst thing he'd ever had to do. He'd done it for the world, and for everyone in it, but it still hurt. That's why he was on his way to the Ymir Forest now. He'd left Mithos once for the sake of the world, but now the world wasn't as stake, and he was free to follow him. Genis could be with him forever.

Finally reaching his destination, he descended from the air and jumped off even before it came to a complete stop. Tears ran down his face now, as they had for some time, but they were not tears of anguish. They were tears of joy. _Soon_, his mind coaxed quietly.

He took a moment to let the Rheiard stop and then made sure the machine wouldn't go anywhere before setting the Wing Pack down on the seat; he didn't want to cause trouble for Raine when she got here. _Is there anything else I need to do?_ He thought about it for a short moment, before taking off his overcoat, folding it neatly, and setting it next to the Wing Pack. It was a jacket Raine had made for him some years ago. It meant a lot to him, and more to Raine, so he wanted her to have it. She deserved memories, too.

Seeing everything was in order, he turned to the forest, and began walking. The trees all around him teemed with life, green from countless years of care from the elves and the Water Mirror. The wooden walking bridge creaked warmly beneath his feet, welcoming him to the forest. The floor of water looked up to him lovingly, inviting him for a swim in its waters. Knowing there was nothing else he needed to do, he obliged the pleas of the immortal water.

Taking a deep breath, he jumped in, intent on swimming as far down as he could before his last breath ran out. Deeper and deeper he swam, the further he went, the more his lungs screamed for him to release the breath, and to go back up to the surface. To stop what he was doing, but he couldn't do that. Not to himself, and not to Mithos. He could never go back to that surface.

Pausing in his swimming and looking in the direction he thought was up, he realized he could no longer clearly make out which way the surface was. Relaxing his muscles, he let out the breath he had held a little too long, and watched the pockets of air flow around him. There was no going back now; he was free. Free from the humans who hated him for merely being who he was, free from the pain of loss, free from the expectations others had of him. Free of everything.

Suddenly, probably on instinct, Genis noted mentally, his body scrambled for the surface he could no longer find. It took all the self-control he had to stop his jostling arms and legs; he couldn't let them betray him, not now. Even though he had wished for this, it hurt. Everything hurt. His lungs felt as heavy as lead, and they burned. His muscles ached from the lack of air given to them; they had no strength left. They weren't fighting anymore. He was glad.

_I feel... tired._ His mind was starting to get fuzzy and he couldn't remember what he had come here for. Not that it really mattered; he was here now. In the haze of pain, the blissful oblivion of oncoming sleep seemed the only option to take now. He closed his eyes, and knew no more.

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Disclaimer: I am not Namco.

A/N: I'm not used to writing Genis. -- This somewhat positive view of suicide is not something I believe. Suicide can usually be avoided.


End file.
